It's Just a Matter of Trust

With deference to Billy Joel, it does seem to be "a matter of trust" around us - whether it is the economy, politics, global security, the value of my 401(k) or the all-important task of raising the next generation. And trust is based, to a great deal, on honesty and integrity.

I read a great quote last week from Spencer Johnson: "Honesty is being truthful with other people; integrity is telling the truth to yourself." However, I would alter that second part slightly: "Integrity is acknowledging the truth to yourself." You see, integrity means acting on the truth, not just stating it. We all know of people who have told themselves the truth and then still acted to deceive others - take the recent Wall Street leaders.

But think for a moment - how much of our lives depend on trust? We trust that the products we eat, drink, drive and otherwise use during the day are safe and made to the standards indicated on them. What if our medications were wrong? What if our drinking water was unsafe? What if my steering wheel did not turn my car's wheels? Occasionally failures do happen - and it is just the infrequency of it that makes my point. It is news when the trust is broken.

I am afraid that in just a few months we are becoming almost numb to the breach of trust in our financial markets, our political leaders and our media. Our impeached former governor of Illinois is getting another round of talk show appearances as reward for his breach of public trust while our new Governor Quinn struggles to get people to listen. The media chooses to report on Jessica's ill-chosen blue jeans rather than the good, decent hard work of many Americans who are assisting others in these difficult times. CEOs take bonuses out of bailout money while laying off thousands and then quizzically wonder why anyone is upset. Our children are growing up watching this... and watching this... and watching this... because that is what they, and everyone else, does in this communications-saturated culture.

Yet, we cannot function as individuals or a culture without a certain level of trust. When that trust is broken, society begins to break down and the quality of our life begins to suffer. We cannot presume that it will improve, especially for the next generation, unless we proactively work to redevelop trust. We must teach our children to trust and to engender trust. We must be living examples of that trust because they will always watch what we do rather than what we say. We must teach them to understand the investment required to develop trust and the cost of not developing it or we will end up as a "society" of individuals sitting at our computers, building walls, barricades, fail safes and false identities around ourselves.

That is not what we want to teach to our children.